Chapter 70: Who Are You Calling Ma'am?

Three days later.

Jiang Yan and his companions finally arrived at the foot of the Flaming Mountains.

Black Flower was born with a fear of fire. Gazing at the distant peaks crowned with roiling flames, it shrank back involuntarily. Wrapping its green leaves tightly around Little White Beast’s neck, it seemed to draw what little comfort it could from the touch.

Unable to hold back, Black Flower asked, “To reach the legendary Azure Sea Secret Realm, must we truly pass through these Flaming Mountains?”

Bai Tao answered truthfully, “Yes. I’ve asked my father, and he said the same. The Flaming Mountains are the only way.”

Suddenly, raucous voices drifted over from afar.

“Aaaah! I want to go back. To hell with this so-called new secret realm!”

“These damned Flaming Mountains—I swear I’ll never come back!”

“That’s right! If I could leave a review, I’d give this new secret realm a terrible score! It’s just too much!”

“And let that ugly ox go to hell too!”

As the group of eight approached, Jiang Yan noticed their sect uniforms were filthy beyond recognition, and their hair looked as though it had been struck by lightning.

“You… you plan to cross the Flaming Mountains?” asked a male disciple in a white sect robe upon spotting Jiang Yan and his group.

Bai Tao smiled gently and replied, “Indeed, fellow cultivator. We seek the new secret realm, and the Flaming Mountains are our path.”

“You…” The disciple seemed about to offer advice, but another young man beside him promptly clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Let’s go, let’s go. You talk too much,” the second disciple muttered in a low voice, thinking himself discreet. “We suffered, so they should taste the same. After all, it’s their choice…”

With that, the disciples mounted their swords and departed swiftly. Only the one who’d tried to speak turned back for a moment, casting Jiang Yan’s group an apologetic look.

“Hmph, so petty!” Qi Yu fumed. True, the others had no obligation to warn them about the dangers ahead, but the one who silenced his companion was truly infuriating. What sort of attitude was that?

Bai Tao, however, remained calm. “Let’s go,” he said mildly. “We should head in.”

The group stepped into the Flaming Mountains and immediately felt an invisible pressure descend. Their cultivation seemed forcibly suppressed, though it was not unbearable, nor did it harm them.

The ground was parched and cracked, crisscrossed with fissures as dense as wrinkles on an old woman’s face—one could not help but wonder how much hardship the land had endured to create such an artistic landscape.

The path was arduous, with precious few places to set foot. From the cracks oozed scalding red magma, as if mocking them: “Think you’ll cross here? Think again!”

Jiang Yan was mortified.

This was more than parched earth, more than a difficult path—it was a flaming hell!

A motorbike? Don’t joke! If one simply managed to walk, it would be thanks enough to the heavens.

Tut tut, it seemed there would be no shirking today.

Qi Yu called out to the group, “Keep your balance, everyone. Don’t fall into the magma.”

“Senior brother, didn’t we prepare talismans? Should we try the flight talisman?” asked Du Fei, a disciple gifted in talisman-crafting.

Qi Yu nodded. “Let’s give it a try. If it helps us cross the Flaming Mountains faster, so much the better.”

Du Fei, full of confidence, took out a flight talisman. But the moment the talisman met the air, it burst into flames and was consumed in a flash, as though it had been tossed into a furnace.

Frantically, he dropped the burning talisman and watched it turn to a wisp of blue smoke, dispersing in the air…

This left everyone gaping in shock.

Could it be that all their preparations were for naught?

Bai Tao asked anxiously, “Can the water flasks be used?”

Jiang Yan had packed plenty of water and was eager to know. He took a flask from his storage pouch, unscrewed it, and drank a mouthful.

He patted Bai Tao’s shoulder, signaling that all was well, and smiled, “The water’s sweet and clear.”

Bai Tao breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness water isn’t restricted.”

Jiang Yan addressed the group. “Let’s hurry and cross the Flaming Mountains.”

The longer they lingered, the greater the danger.

Cautiously, they advanced along the narrow paths, leaping to another trail whenever they encountered a break.

Time slipped by unnoticed. In the blink of an eye, an hour had passed.

Everyone was drenched in sweat, their clothing soaked through as though they had just been hauled from a river.

Little White panted, its barbed tongue lolling to release heat, while Black Flower clung to its neck, refusing to let go.

The most at ease was the little dwarf dragon, who moved through the Flaming Mountains with the ease of a stroll in its own backyard.

The group, however, had long since lost their way amidst the labyrinth of fractured paths.

Bai Tao scratched his head. “Jiang Yan, any idea where the exit might be?”

Alas…

Jiang Yan simply shook his head, just as baffled.

If only they had a compass!

Just as despair began to set in, a hearty female voice rang out.

“Where have you come from, and where are you going?”

They turned to see a cow demoness clad in a red floral dress, eyes wide as she stared them down.

Good heavens!

Had Jiang Yan not known he was in a cultivation novel, he would have thought he’d fallen into a bootleg chapter of Journey to the West.

Wasn’t this a female version of the Demon King Bull?

Their eyes met, and the cow demoness even winked at them.

Jiang Yan felt as though he’d been struck by lightning inside and out. Surely the original author was out to torment him…

Bai Tao asked politely, “Auntie, we’re heading to the Azure Sea Secret Realm. Could you tell us where the exit from these mountains is?”

At this, the cow demoness nearly fumed fire from her nostrils. “You chubby boy, who are you calling auntie? Don’t you know I’m a maiden in the bloom of youth?”

“Sorry, truly sorry, Miss Niuniu, could you please direct us to the exit?” Bai Tao quickly corrected himself, his sincerity unmistakable.

“Call me Sister Chunhua!” The cow demoness swayed her hips and shot another wink at Jiang Yan, the most handsome of the group.

Jiang Yan took a devastating blow. The little man in his heart collapsed, utterly powerless to rise.

Yet Bai Tao remained patient. He repeated the question, “Sister Chunhua, could you please tell us how to reach the exit of these mountains?”

Hearing Bai Tao address her as Sister Chunhua, Jiang Yan was inwardly filled with admiration for his composure.