Chapter Three: Everyone Needs Something to Hold On To

The fortunate thing was that it was only 1995, and the policy of college enrollment expansion had not yet been implemented. Tuition fees each year were not too high. Had she gone to university two years later, the annual tuition would have been enough to worry her sick.

By March, Ezi was already eight months old, able to take a few steps on the floor, her little legs especially strong, and every day she clamored to go outside and play.

That day, the sun was shining and the weather was beautiful. After Chen Xin handed in her manuscript, she dressed herself and Ezi and took her downstairs to play.

When she reached the gate outside the residential compound, she saw the breakfast shop owner pasting up a red notice for transfer. Upon asking, she learned that the owner was from Henan. His elderly father had hurt his back doing farm work and was now bedridden in the hospital. The couple had no choice but to return home to care for the old man and tend to the household, so they planned to transfer the shop.

Chen Xin glanced at the notice and an idea sparked in her mind.

She knew how to make breakfast foods, specialties from all over the country. Her buns were so good her friends raved about them. She could also make Western-style quick breakfasts and even use a little stone mill to make soy milk and tofu pudding.

She wanted to take over this shop and run a clean, hygienic fast breakfast place. All ingredients and food preparation would be done in the glass-fronted workspace so customers could see everything was sanitary and trustworthy. She could charge a bit more without worrying about poor business or a lack of customers.

Most importantly, the compound was only fifty or sixty meters from the back gate of the University of Science and Technology. Every morning, many students came out to buy breakfast. If she offered something unique, those students would prefer her place. After all, she wasn’t aiming for sheer volume.

She negotiated with the owner over the transfer fee, and after some back and forth, she took over the shop for three thousand yuan. Of course, she didn’t need everything, but the stove and the bun steamers had to stay. She also asked the landlord if she could renovate the place and sign a longer lease. She didn’t want the landlord to reclaim the shop as soon as she’d fixed it up and business was looking up.

Luckily, people were simpler in those days. She signed a five-year lease directly. Rent would adjust with the market every two years, but each increase couldn’t exceed five percent of the current rent.

After signing the contract and paying the deposit, she agreed with the breakfast shop owner to hand over the shop in three days. Now, Chen Xin had to start thinking about hiring help.

She had actually long since targeted the people she wanted to hire: the couple living in the building behind hers.

They had had a tough life. Their first child died at ten after falling ill, and their second, who had made it to technical school, was killed in a traffic accident on his way to an internship. Losing both sons in middle age had left the couple completely dispirited. Then last year, their factory had struggled, and both were laid off.

Though they were only in their early forties, not yet fifty, their hair was gray and their spirits broken—they looked like people at death’s door.

Chen Xin wanted to hire them because she’d heard that before their sons died, the wife’s cooking was one of the best in the compound.

She thought that hiring them would also be a way to help them. Their despair was because they saw no future, but they weren’t really old yet. If they took care of themselves, they could even have another child, or if not, adopt one. Life had to go on.

When Chen Xin showed up carrying her child to ask if they’d help run a breakfast shop, the wife was stunned.

Ever since her son’s death, people had whispered that their family was unlucky, fated to be lonely and bereft, and few people spoke to her. Even going out to buy vegetables, she felt people pointing and whispering behind her back.

“You… don’t you know about our family?”

“What about it? That your two sons passed away? I know. But what does that have to do with me asking you and Uncle to work with me? If it’s about misfortune, my family’s had plenty too. My parents died together in an accident, and my sister raised me. But not long after, my brother-in-law was killed on duty in the army. My sister couldn’t bear the blow, and after a difficult birth, she died too, leaving me and Zhang Zhang to rely on each other. But so what? Life has to go on. Am I supposed to just die holding Zhang Zhang? It doesn’t matter what others think—as long as we live well ourselves, that’s what matters.”

Chen Xin didn’t mention having another child or adoption—after all, they weren’t close enough yet.

The couple said they’d consider it. After seeing Chen Xin off, for the first time they talked about their two sons who’d died so young. The pain was still real, but somehow, it didn’t feel as unbearable as before.

“Old Tie, I think we should help her. Earning money is one thing, but we can’t just live like this forever. If our sons are watching from beyond, they’d probably be worried about us too.” Wiping her tears, Song Auntie made her decision.

Just as Chen Xin said, they were unlucky, but there were many people in the world less fortunate than them. Should they all give up? Since they hadn’t followed their sons after the loss, they might as well live well, and see more of the world for their poor children’s sake.

“Old Tie, your cousin’s child is living alone in the village now since his mother remarried. Why don’t you go ask if he’d like to come live with us? He can study if he wants, or learn a trade. We’ll treat him as our own.”

Tie Lei hesitated—the child was already over ten, and it wouldn’t be like raising a pet.

“It’s not like raising a cat or a dog. Whether he fits in or not, we don’t need him to care for us in old age. It’s just that our home is too empty without children. Your cousin was good to us and our sons, and though his wife remarried and didn’t want to bring a stepchild, it’s understandable. But the boy isn’t yet grown, and life alone is hard. So go ask. We won’t make him change his surname or household registration—we’ll just raise him until he’s grown, and after that, he can do as he pleases.”

Tie Lei was honest and usually followed his wife’s lead. Since she said so, he’d try. Whether or not the boy would come was another matter.

The couple were decisive. Song Auntie found Chen Xin to accept the job and would start once the shop was renovated, while Tie Lei took the bus to his rural hometown that very day. He found the village chief to act as a go-between and went to speak to his cousin’s son, who had dropped out of school.

Although Tie Lei’s cousin was older than him, he’d married late and had a child late, so while Tie Lei’s son would have been grown, his cousin’s boy was only eleven.

Tie Lei had been unsure at first, but after meeting the boy, he was determined. The boy’s circumstances were truly pitiful. In such cold weather, he wore his late father’s old sweater, a patched coat, and on his feet, only a pair of army shoes—no socks.

On the way, the village chief had told Tie Lei about the boy’s situation. His mother had remarried six months after his father died, taking all the family money with her and leaving only what she couldn’t carry and the boy’s father’s clothes. With both grandparents gone and the rest of the village not well off either, he got only occasional help. That New Year, the village committee had sent rice, flour, and oil so he could barely get by.

"The boy has an uncle, but they never got along with his father. The uncle went south to work years ago and hasn’t returned. The village tried contacting him, but he said he couldn’t support himself, let alone the boy, and hung up. After that, he never answered again. The boy used to do so well in school, but now he can’t go. Every day, he grows a bit of food to sell for something to eat—it’s heartbreaking."

Though the village wasn’t far from the city, it was like any city’s poor corner; Yangjia Village was in a truly desolate place, far behind the nearby rural areas.

Despite his poor clothes, the boy kept himself tidy, and his home, though sparse, was clean and neat. Seeing the village chief and his cousin, he even wanted to make them some sweet soup.

When told that his cousin wanted to take him to the city, he was torn. He wanted to study, but didn’t want to be a burden. If his own mother and uncle had abandoned him, why should a distant cousin care?

Tie Lei glanced at the village chief and said he wouldn’t return that night, asking if he could stay over. He reminisced about the days when the boy’s father was alive, staying at their house, and even pointed out the wall in the west wing where the boy’s brother once imitated their yellow dog and peed.

The boy smiled shyly and, after some hesitation, agreed to let Tie Lei stay.

That night, Tie Lei talked with him for a long time, recalling his friendship with the boy’s father. The boy cried for half the night, but finally agreed to go live in the city.

Before leaving, Tie Lei took the boy to his father’s grave. He explained their plans, and told the villagers present what they intended. Some elders said Tie Lei was doing a good deed, accumulating merit.

They praised the boy too—smart, well-behaved, honest like his father. They told him to be diligent, help out, and not be lazy at his cousin’s home.

“Elders, I’m not taking him just to have him help out. He’s a good student, and my wife and I plan to let him keep studying. As long as he wants to learn, we’ll support him. If he succeeds, I’ll have repaid my cousin’s kindness to us.”

After some words, Tie Lei took Yang Yi away. They took only a few mementos left by the boy’s father, leaving everything else and the chickens to the village chief. With no need to transfer household registration, the process was simple—they registered at the village committee, then caught the afternoon bus back to the city.

When they arrived home, it was just after five. Song Auntie was still tidying up. Seeing the skinny, frail Yang Yi, she couldn’t help but hug him and break down in tears.