Chapter Sixty-Three: No Matter the World, There Are Always Gay People

“I suspect that Lyon is gay.”

In the dim, almost sightless room, the hushed whispers of two young girls floated through the air. Mayuna fixed her only friend with a grave look as she spoke.

“Gay? What’s that?”

Tinasia didn’t understand why Mayuna had created such a strange atmosphere in an otherwise perfectly good room, but she asked nevertheless, all the while nibbling on the pudding Mayuna had used to bribe her.

“It’s when someone likes people of the same sex.”

“Ah! I’m not, I haven’t—”

The green-haired princess seemed almost choked by her words, though luckily, pudding was soft and easy to swallow. She hurriedly denied whatever accusation was implied.

“I wasn’t talking about you. That Lyon brat is always hanging around Ruby for no reason—he’s definitely up to something. As for you, at most you’re a lily.”

Mayuna, with no trace of politeness, referred to Lyon—who was many years her senior—as a brat. Just thinking about what had happened a few days prior made her grind her teeth in anger. To think that, as the Archmage, she’d been tricked by a simple ruse from a mere Grand Mage! Granted, she’d been careless, but who could have guessed that the seemingly upright captain would stoop to something so sordid as sneaking into someone’s house? Mayuna had already marked this as one of the greatest humiliations of her life, and she was determined to take her revenge.

“Ahem, I don’t think Ruby likes men at all.”

Tinasia dabbed at her mouth with a handkerchief. From what she remembered, Ruby might be a bit cold, but he wasn’t heartless—at least, he clearly cared about Mayuna. Could she really not see it herself?

“That’s just what you think. Ruby is the kind of person who could turn down any woman presented to him. Even someone as beautiful as me, willing to live under the same roof, doesn’t make him happy. If Lyon manages to seduce him, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

Mayuna had suspected as much when Ruby had nearly thrown her out of the house. Confident as she was in her own looks, the Archmage couldn’t shake the feeling that Ruby was teetering on the edge of a forbidden path—one little push, and he’d be lost forever. She absolutely couldn’t allow that to happen.

“Regret what, exactly?”

“That I failed to save him from the depths of deviancy! You must help me!”

Mayuna clasped her hands under her chin, eyes shining with a determined light. Tinasia glanced at the scattered pudding cups on the table and knew she’d walked right into a trap.

Lyon, for his part, found himself in a puzzling situation. That day, Princess Tinasia had summoned him out of the blue—not for anything urgent, just to discuss municipal development. These were questions he had little business answering; after all, he’d spent most of his life defending the borders, not managing cities. Doing his best to contribute, he soon realized Tinasia saw right through his lack of expertise and released him shortly thereafter.

Still bewildered, Lyon stopped by the intensive care ward to visit his mother. Satisfied to see her looking healthier than ever, he headed home. By then, the moon had climbed high in the sky, and the streets were nearly deserted.

“The sky is so dark…”

Some unknown cloud had swallowed the moonlight completely. The magical street lamps cast a feeble glow, but it did little to set his mind at ease. Some primal instinct within him warned that something was amiss, and Lyon quickened his pace toward home.

Fortunately, nothing unusual happened along the way, and he arrived home without incident. But just as he locked the door and let his guard down, a wave of overwhelming mental force crashed through his mind.

“Damn it—!”

Caught utterly off guard, Lyon felt his eyelids grow impossibly heavy. Just before losing consciousness, he managed one final thought: his assailant had to be at least a Saint Mage.

“Wake up.”

He had no idea how much time had passed before a bucket of cold water was dumped unceremoniously on his face. A strange, genderless voice roused him from his stupor.

“I don’t know who you are,” Lyon said, “but if you dared to attack me in the capital, you must be prepared to become a wanted criminal.”

Upon awakening, Lyon quickly assessed his situation. His magic was sealed; he couldn’t use it at all. His eyes were blindfolded, and sturdy vines bound him to a chair. Shame washed over him—how could the captain of the Emperor’s most elite magic regiment be captured in his own home? His captor was surely some despicable agent from a rival nation, and sending a Saint Mage after him was a bold risk indeed.

“Do you like men?”

“No torture, no matter how severe, will make me betray my secrets… Huh?”

Even as he strove to maintain his composure, Lyon’s mind caught up with the question, and even he couldn’t help but gape in shock.

“I asked if you like men.”

“…What does that have to do with you?”

Lyon’s expression shifted dramatically. He wasn’t afraid of torture, but if his captor was some pervert obsessed with men… Unable to discern the speaker’s gender, he decided it was best to answer cautiously.

“Aha, just as I thought—he’s a degenerate! Tonight, I’ll rid the world of this pest!”

In the adjacent room, Mayuna’s fury boiled over at Lyon’s response. She was ready to stage a fatal “accident” right then and there. Tomorrow’s headlines might well read: “Golden Sword Lion Drowns in Mysterious Circumstances.”

“Calm down, Nana! He just doesn’t understand what’s happening!”

As her unwitting accomplice, Tinasia was profoundly grateful she’d come along. She hastily restrained the rampaging Archmage and tried to explain how any normal person would react in this situation.

“I’ve thought it over—swear by the God of Light. Swear you’ll never fall for a man, and I’ll let you go.”

“With all due respect, are you out of your mind?”

Lyon’s expression grew stranger by the second. Swearing by the God of Light was a serious matter—reserved for vows of absolute loyalty or undying love. Who would invoke the God of Light over something so bizarre? He half-expected to be struck down for blasphemy. As soon as he finished speaking, he heard a crash from the next room, as if something had been knocked over.

“I’m going to kill him—right now, let go of me!”

“Calm down! Really, this is how anyone would react!”

Watching Mayuna kick the table over in anger, Tinasia once again acted as peacemaker, soothing the wrathful Archmage.

“Ahem, my… my mistress means only that she despises public displays of affection between people of the same sex. That’s why she founded the ‘Society for the Correction of Deviants’—a group dedicated to finding those tempted to stray and guiding them back to the straight path. Your recent behavior has drawn our attention, and that’s why we’re here.”

Resigned, Tinasia joined the conversation, glancing at Mayuna and accepting her role as subordinate. The Archmage, for her part, was quite pleased with the green-haired princess’s self-awareness and gave her a thumbs-up.

“I’ve never heard of such an organization. Wouldn’t your time be better spent serving the Empire?”

“Silence, shameless degenerate! You’re twenty-eight and still unmarried—stop making excuses!”

“I simply haven’t found the right woman.”

Lyon felt utterly wronged. He’d devoted his life to the defense of the realm, and in recent years, his mother’s illness had left him no time for romance. Did being single really make him a degenerate?

“If that’s the case, I can arrange a match for you. There’s a perfectly suitable princess who’s still unattached. I’ll go fetch her, and once you’re married, I’m sure His Majesty will approve.”

Mayuna stroked her chin with a mischievous grin. Tinasia was an eyesore anyway—why not pair her off with Lyon and be done with both of them?

“Nana, you can’t!”

“Princess Tinasia is a fine woman, but… to be honest, I fear I’d end up with broken bones over household squabbles. I lack the constitution for such a match.”

Lyon grimaced. Tinasia was beautiful, certainly, but her strength was terrifying. Hearing this, the princess collapsed in disappointment in the next room, while the Archmage burst into delighted laughter.

“Enough talk. If you won’t swear, don’t blame me for using force!”

Mayuna wasn’t interested in reason. She conjured a feather with cloud magic and set about tickling Lyon’s bare feet.

“Stop, hahaha! Help, please, no more! Hahahaha! All right, I swear! By the God of Light, I swear I will never fall for a man!”

At first, Lyon tried to withstand the torment in silence, but in the end, he couldn’t help crying out. The mighty Golden Sword Lion finally succumbed to Mayuna’s wickedness.

“See, wasn’t that easy? I’ve recorded your words on a crystal. Behave yourself, or this will go public.”

Mayuna stowed the recording crystal with satisfaction. She knocked Lyon out once more and, together with the dejected princess, fled the scene of the crime.

“What a strange dream.”

The next morning, Lyon awoke in his own bed as usual and immediately checked himself and his house. Everything was in order; there were no signs of an intruder, no injuries. It seemed as though the entire ordeal had been nothing but a dream.

“Are those two really that close?”

At the same time, Ruby, who had just woken up, noticed the two girls squeezed together on the sofa, fast asleep. Out of her armor, Tinasia’s figure was surprisingly soft—soft enough to serve as a perfect pillow for Mayuna, who was snoring away. Ruby could only tuck a blanket around them and go about her business.

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P.S. The God of Light: There’s so much I could say, but I’d best keep my mouth shut.