Chapter Nineteen: Han Lishan's Breaking Point

“Dear friends, hello everyone! I’m your old friend, Han Lishan.”

Teacher Han wore a kindly expression and greeted the camera warmly.

“Today, besides appreciating some precious antiques, we have a new friend joining us.”

Han Lishan pointed to Cheng Ziqiu, who was standing stiffly nearby like a wooden post.

“This is young apprentice Cheng Ziqiu, here to observe and learn in the livestream.”

“Young people should always learn and see more,” Han Lishan said cheerfully.

Cheng Ziqiu rolled his eyes inwardly, cursing silently: Old man, you really know how to put on a show. If it weren’t for watching how you old geezer messes up, I wouldn’t bother playing along with you here.

In the chat, Han Lishan’s fans were all praising him.

“Teacher Han is amazing! Now that’s a true expert!”

“This young guy looks like a total newbie—probably can’t even tell bronze from iron!”

“Is Teacher Han taking apprentices? I want to learn too!”

“Hey upstairs, you’re dreaming. Not just anyone can be Teacher Han’s disciple!”

Reading these flattering comments, Cheng Ziqiu sneered inside. A bunch of clueless viewers—just wait and I’ll show you what a reality check really looks like!

Han Lishan’s first item today was a bronze jue cup.

Its shape was simple and elegant, with exquisite patterns.

He picked up the jue and carefully explained to the camera, describing its form, decoration, inscriptions, and casting techniques in great detail.

“This bronze jue is said to be from the late Shang dynasty, over three thousand years old, priceless!” Han Lishan said with a pretentious air, his eyes shining with pride.

The chat erupted in exclamations.

“Wow! Over three thousand years old? That’s incredible!”

“How much is this worth?”

“If I had a treasure like this, I’d be smiling in my sleep!”

Han Lishan grinned with satisfaction and added, “The owner is an old friend who specially entrusted me to authenticate it. After careful study, I can confidently tell you all this jue is…”

He paused dramatically, teasing the audience.

“…genuine!”

“Applause!” The livestream filled with clapping sounds and gift effects.

Han Lishan basked in the adulation.

Kid, see that? This is what a real expert looks like!

Cheng Ziqiu remained expressionless, even yawning.

Old man, keep pretending. I’m waiting to see how you’ll get out of this one!

“Is the young guy scared stiff? Hahaha!”

“Probably the first time seeing such a precious antique; he’s stunned!”

The gift effects kept flying across the screen, with endless “666” flooding the chat.

***

Just as Han Lishan prepared to ride the wave and boast further about the craftsmanship of the bronze jue, a connection request suddenly popped up on the screen.

“Oh? Looks like someone wants to join us to discuss antiques!” Han Lishan feigned surprise, though a hint of impatience flickered in his eyes.

The livestream’s rhythm was interrupted, which annoyed him.

The screen switched, revealing a burly man with a thick beard holding something…

Cheng Ziqiu wasn’t quite sure how to describe the object.

It looked like a rusty, misshapen lump of iron.

The surface was pitted and uneven, with several obvious cracks, as if something had gnawed on it.

“Teacher Han, take a look and tell me what this is,” the man said in a gruff voice.

Han Lishan frowned as he examined the object, his smile fading.

He cleared his throat and tried to sound composed: “Friend, this thing… it looks very old.”

“Yeah, my ancestors said it was dug up from a grave, but we don’t know what it is,” the man said, scratching his head in a simple manner.

The chat exploded with comments.

“What is this thing? Looks like scrap metal.”

“Could it be some rusty farm tool? Haha!”

“Is this guy for real or just joking?”

Han Lishan scrutinized the rusty lump but felt increasingly uncertain.

Cheng Ziqiu narrowed his eyes, intrigued.

This rusty thing reminded him of a type of funerary object called a “soul guide.”

Such items were typically placed inside a coffin to lead the spirit and protect descendants.

Of course, these were just superstitions.

In his past life, Cheng Ziqiu only saw one fate for soul guides—they ended up in his instant noodles as a makeshift utensil.

Convenient and durable, with a real tomb atmosphere.

Naturally, he wouldn’t admit this now, lest he frighten these “experts” to death.

Meanwhile, Han Lishan stammered, sweat beads forming on his forehead.

The chat began mocking him.

“Master Han can’t not recognize this, right? No way!”

“He’s about to crash hard! Haha, so funny!”

“This looks like my grandpa’s hoe for plowing.”

Han Lishan’s face burned fiercely, as if slapped.

He forced a smile, but his mouth twitched uncontrollably.

“Friend, this item… has great research value! Yes, great research value!”

Cheng Ziqiu watched nearby, barely containing his laughter.

This old man is overplaying the act, isn’t he?

***

Seeing the situation slipping out of his control, Han Lishan wiped his sweat and thought quickly.

“Ziqiu, you know quite a bit about antiques too. Why don’t you take a look at this friend’s treasure?”

Cheng Ziqiu sneered inside.

Old fox, trying to drag me into this?

Fine, I’ll play along for a while.

Pretending seriously, Cheng Ziqiu leaned closer to the screen, squinted, and studied the object for a long time, then feigned realization.

“Oh, this thing… could it be the legendary… Shang dynasty… tooth-shaped jade scepter?”

“Tooth-shaped jade scepter?!” Han Lishan’s eyes lit up, as if enlightened, and he slapped his thigh.

“Yes, yes! That’s it! My old eyes almost missed it! Ziqiu’s got sharp eyes to spot it immediately!”

He launched into an explanation for the camera.

“The tooth-shaped jade scepter was an important ritual object of the Shang dynasty, used in sacrifices…”

The chat grew lively again.

“No way! It’s really a tooth-shaped jade scepter? This rusty thing is so amazing?”

“Dude upstairs, you’re so uninformed. Master Han confirmed it; how could it be fake?”

“This guy is impressive, recognizing it at a glance!”

Gift effects flooded again; Han Lishan beamed with pride, as if regaining control.

But then Cheng Ziqiu scratched his head awkwardly and said:

“Oops, my bad! I was mistaken! Hmm… this should be a Zhou dynasty chamber pot!”

“Chamber pot?!” Han Lishan almost choked on his own spit.

The kid’s messing with me, right?!

Still, he had to keep smiling and forced himself to correct.

“Ah, right, Ziqiu’s right! My eyes are failing me. This is indeed a Zhou dynasty chamber pot! Unique shape, exquisite craftsmanship—clearly a royal household item!”

The viewers were utterly bewildered.

What kind of plot twist is this?

Just now it was a Shang dynasty ritual object; now it’s a Zhou dynasty chamber pot?

“What… what exactly is this thing? I’m so confused.”

“Are these two masters joking with us? Hahaha!”

“Chamber pot? Royal use? This sounds pretty unreliable.”

Standing aside, Chen Churan stifled a laugh watching Cheng Ziqiu seriously spout nonsense.

That kid is way too mischievous.

The burly man held his “iron lump” dumbfounded, probably wondering whether to toss this ancestral “chamber pot” away.

“This chamber pot, although worthless…”

Han Lishan waved his hands dramatically, looking heartbroken.

“It has absorbed the essence of heaven and earth, the spirit of sun and moon. Placed at home, it wards off evil spirits and protects the family’s peace and health!”